Carpe per diem
Cardinal principle
Cannot work with love
Business built on friendship
Build a cathedral
Build a business
Blessing
Blaming others
Benevolence of the butcher
Avoid the business
Afterglow of satisfaction
Definition of an advertising agency
Refuse to quit
Refuse to quit
A man’s ability
A man's ability
Rush hour
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Autobiography
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
Writing a book
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
We will love you
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
Definition of a committee
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Walk a mile
Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
Vegetarians
A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.
Spoon
If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!
Roses are red
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
Smoking kills
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
Parents and children
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
Procrastination is an art
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Moderation is a virtue
Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.
Money won’t buy happniess
Money won't buy happiness. But it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
Men are liars
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Guilt
Guilt. The gift that keeps on giving.
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