Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.
If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.