Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car
Crisis
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Go to Switzerland
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives
Car windows
Never have more children than you have car windows
James Cagney love scene
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live
A pessimist
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists
Never raise your hand to your children
Never raise your hand to your children. It eaves your midsection unprotected.
Avoiding temptation
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
One man’s folly
One man's folly is another man's wife
Any kid will run
Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime
Don’t forget mother’s day
Don't forget mother's day r as they call it in Beverly Hills, dad's third wife day
A child of five
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.