Life is hard. After all, it kills you
Hair is done in the library
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library
Living forever
I intend to live forever. So far so good.
I hate housework
You make the beds, you do the dishes and six month later you have to start all over again
Not afraid of death
I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I said nothing
Drawing on my fine command of the the English language, I said nothing
Refuse to take your questions
Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement
An accountant
People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?". Well, no, I was an accountant.
Organized lightning
Electricity is really just organized lightning
Jigsaw puzzle of 40,000 pieces
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says "Go outside!".
See through women
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot
Knowledge
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.