I was the kid next door's imaginary friend
Endure adversity
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's I mean.
Boy, those french
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
All people are born alike
All people are born alike. Except republicans and democrats.
Children leave home
You see much more of your children once they leave home
Happiness
Happiness is having a large loving, caring, close-knit family in another city
Chewing gum
TV is chewing gum for the eyes
Friend on a diet
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat
Chess team
I failed to make the chess team because of my height
Definition of frisbeetarianism
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck
The future of the human race
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no loner despair for the future of the human race
Be thankfull
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for